It is not even funny how stupidly nervous I am for this exam. I'm sitting here, pretty much torturing myself with ifs and maybes. "What if that question doesn't come up? It's the only one you could possibly answer. You'd be so screwed if it doesn't come up ... " Well thank you brain, for being so supportive.
It's not only my brain that's against me; my stomach is in so many knots that I can't remember what it felt like before nerves took over. Which is ironic, or stupid, because nerves control your body, so they can't take over, they're already in control. And why is apprehension known as "nerves" anyway? That doesn't make sense, not when we have a nervous system. It implies we perform better on "nerves", but since we're wired up with them anyway ... Stop, I am reading way too deeply into this.
Educational Psychology will be the death of me. And what a dramatic death it will be. I will be sat in the exam hall, twitching, eyes quickly scanning the other 189 students taking the same exam as me as they all crouch over their papers, scribbling madly. And then a high pitched keening sound will make them pause momentarily, and they'll turn, and I'll collapse, arms outstretched in a beg for mercy and more time.
Okay, okay, I need to stop thinking about the exam. It's not making me feel any better. I have time, all 2 hours, 45 minutes of it. And then it'll be all over. The apprehension, the nerves, the fear, because I'll know what's on the exam.
Irony is chasing me today. I'm supposed to be revising stress and the effects of it on the body for the Health Psychology part of the exam, but instead, I'm living through the effects of stress. Maybe it'll give me an edge in the exam. I can just sit there and list all the faults with my thinking and my body and score the 40% I need.
COME ON 40%!
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