Why You Should Only Ever Date Yourself

     I was thinking, which is a dangerous pastime, about dating. I had a random idea, which then lead to this post. Dating is a long and tiring game that can often lead to a relationship. And the last thing you could ever want is a relationship with someone else. Because other people are demanding, tiresome and often rude.

     However, nobody wants to be alone. Nobody wants to be the single girl or boy at a couples social. Nobody wants to feel like they're missing out. And I have come to the conclusion that since people are hard work, and dating is necessary, there is one solution:

     The only person you should ever date is yourself.

     I have compiled a list of reasons why dating yourself is the only possibility in a world when everyone cheats on their partner, sexting is traitorous to everyone and monogamy is a myth. I just made all that up, but it sounds cool so it's staying. While I do a victory dance, you can read my list:

1. You Don't Have to Worry About Moving In: You and yourself never have to worry about the stress of moving in together because you already do. You don't need to make room, you don't need to argue, you can just continue to share the space as you were doing previously. Awesome.
2. You Don't Have to Worry About Ditching Your Friends: Everyone knows the problem with first time/second time/romantic romances. You get so caught up in them that you stay with that one romantic person day in day out, ditching your close friends. By dating yourself, you avoid this problem as your friends are your friends. Simple.
3. Dates Are Simpler and Cheaper: Why? You don't have to worry about paying for two people, and splitting the bill's no issue: you'll both pay! Why simpler? No arguments. You know yourself well enough that you'll pick the right place for a date.
4. You'll Always Get What You Want For Xmas/B.Day: Like I said in point three; you know yourself well. So you'll always pick the right birthday present, or Christmas present and, more importantly, the right Valentine's present. Win-win situation.
5. You Don't Have to Worry About Sharing Friends: Your friends are your friends, so when it comes to introducing your date to your closest associates, there are no problems. They already like you, so of course they'll like your date. Why not?
6. You Don't Have to Worry About Getting Along with Their Friends: Same as above; your friends already know your date, because your dating yourself, therefore no issues regarding getting on with his/her mates. 
7. You Can't Be Ooey and Gooey in Public: Unless you're really demented. And psychotic. Because making out with a partner is wrong, and making out with yourself is nauseatingly sickening. Keep it in the bedroom please. I don't want to see, or feel, your love.

     There are hundreds of reasons why dating yourself is better than dating another person, but it takes time, effort and a bigger attention span than I have to type them all. Of course, there are cons to dating yourself, but it would be anti-constructive, or anti-initiative. Whichever is more impressive.

     Anyway, heed my advice and never have your heart broken again. Unless you're like Jace Wayland, and like to occasionally turn yourself down to make things interesting. Sounds like a good game to play, just don't get too heartbroken.