Why You Should Only Ever Date Yourself

     I was thinking, which is a dangerous pastime, about dating. I had a random idea, which then lead to this post. Dating is a long and tiring game that can often lead to a relationship. And the last thing you could ever want is a relationship with someone else. Because other people are demanding, tiresome and often rude.

     However, nobody wants to be alone. Nobody wants to be the single girl or boy at a couples social. Nobody wants to feel like they're missing out. And I have come to the conclusion that since people are hard work, and dating is necessary, there is one solution:

     The only person you should ever date is yourself.

     I have compiled a list of reasons why dating yourself is the only possibility in a world when everyone cheats on their partner, sexting is traitorous to everyone and monogamy is a myth. I just made all that up, but it sounds cool so it's staying. While I do a victory dance, you can read my list:

1. You Don't Have to Worry About Moving In: You and yourself never have to worry about the stress of moving in together because you already do. You don't need to make room, you don't need to argue, you can just continue to share the space as you were doing previously. Awesome.
2. You Don't Have to Worry About Ditching Your Friends: Everyone knows the problem with first time/second time/romantic romances. You get so caught up in them that you stay with that one romantic person day in day out, ditching your close friends. By dating yourself, you avoid this problem as your friends are your friends. Simple.
3. Dates Are Simpler and Cheaper: Why? You don't have to worry about paying for two people, and splitting the bill's no issue: you'll both pay! Why simpler? No arguments. You know yourself well enough that you'll pick the right place for a date.
4. You'll Always Get What You Want For Xmas/B.Day: Like I said in point three; you know yourself well. So you'll always pick the right birthday present, or Christmas present and, more importantly, the right Valentine's present. Win-win situation.
5. You Don't Have to Worry About Sharing Friends: Your friends are your friends, so when it comes to introducing your date to your closest associates, there are no problems. They already like you, so of course they'll like your date. Why not?
6. You Don't Have to Worry About Getting Along with Their Friends: Same as above; your friends already know your date, because your dating yourself, therefore no issues regarding getting on with his/her mates. 
7. You Can't Be Ooey and Gooey in Public: Unless you're really demented. And psychotic. Because making out with a partner is wrong, and making out with yourself is nauseatingly sickening. Keep it in the bedroom please. I don't want to see, or feel, your love.

     There are hundreds of reasons why dating yourself is better than dating another person, but it takes time, effort and a bigger attention span than I have to type them all. Of course, there are cons to dating yourself, but it would be anti-constructive, or anti-initiative. Whichever is more impressive.

     Anyway, heed my advice and never have your heart broken again. Unless you're like Jace Wayland, and like to occasionally turn yourself down to make things interesting. Sounds like a good game to play, just don't get too heartbroken.

Keys, Tears & The Fear I've Forgotten Something

     Last Friday, I handed my keys over to the staff at Singer Hall. I slipped them into an envelope and handed them over to a friendly woman who wished me a nice summer as I walked out of that officey area for the last time. Or maybe the last time. It depends how sentimental I get next year, or if I ever need a place to crash, literally, near campus.

     It was sad. I didn't want to leave "my" room, or come to terms with the fact I could no longer get in there, despite the fact I had to pay rent for July, despite the last term of uni ending in the beginning of June. Yeah, I think they should better hide their money grabbing schemes too.

     Anyway, I've had a lot of paranoia since then. Little bouts of panic attacks where I wonder if I forgot to be all three keys in the envelope, or if I forgot something that belongs to me in there, or if I didn't clean the room properly and will get fined £300 for it.

    I'll relax soon enough. Maybe in September, or October, or November ... 

Things What I Want

     It's my birthday soon.

     Don't think that I'm one of those insane people who starts talking about their birthday nonstop six months before the event, and then starts planning it like mad three months before the event, because I am nothing like that. I've given very little thought to my birthday this year. In fact, I was surprised to hear that it is my birthday in just under three weeks.

     What I have been giving a lot of thought to these past few weeks is my money situation. About how I don't have freedom to spend it when and as I like, to buy what I want, and for there to be no consequences. Stupid, I know, but I'm neurotic, I'm allowed to worry. I suppose I'd feel a lot better about the situation if I had money coming in.

     I don't.

     Anyway, I have decided to combine these two events/thoughts/concerns (it's concerning because I'll be turning nineteen, my last year as a teenager, and it'll also commence the countdown to me turning twenty - eek!) into this post. There a lot of things that I want to buy, but can't. I have a real big imagination, so I like to imagine buying them and owning them. To accompany my "dreamlife" is a list of things what I want:

• Pokemon HeartGold (24/06/2010)
• Scrubs (Seasons 1-7)
• City of Ashes by Cassandra Clare (24/06/2010)
• Spirit Bound by Richelle Mead (10/07/2010)
• Pride by Rachel Vincent
• Dean Winchester's amulet (24/06/2010)

     I'm a geek, I know. There's a lot of books in that there list, one of which wasn't even on it last week. I've recently been reacquainted with the Mortal Instruments series (this was a trilogy, but there's a fourth book coming out) and I want to continue reading them. My sister's bought this book, so I'll probably read it as soon as she's finished with it, but I do like owning stuff, which puts it on my list.

     Second of all, I know Pokemon is for kids. I know this. But I grew up with Pokemon games, played them to death, and I still play them now. The whole reason I bought a DS in the first place is to be able to buy the newest generation Pokemon game. It makes sense that I want the remake of my favourite Pokemon game to date. I've been waiting years for this remake, ever since they remade Pokemon Red and Blue. So let me have this moment!

     Scrubs rocks. No more need be said. I've been watching nonstop the past two weeks, I'm on season three, and I need to own the DVDs so that they episodes are there at my disposal. No one need get in my way, or face my wrath.

     The chances of me getting any of this stuff any time soon is slim to none (Fort Minor lyrics for the win!) but it's nice to list that what I want and see it in glory! But who knows what might happen. I'll come back and edit this as of when I get anything on the list.

     Don't worry, I'll date it so we can see when I get each item!


EDIT: I bought Spirit Bound last Saturday. It cost £3.50. How awesome is that! And that wasn't a question. It was a statement, because it was awesome. I even got a lemon meringue doughnut from Krispy Kreme, even though I didn't buy it. And that was awesome too.

Slippery When Wet

     I want to take this opportunity to tell you why it is not a good idea to have a water fight inside. Why? Because it's a fantastically hot day, and people always have water fights on hot days. Unless you're one of my roommates and you have water fights in the middle of winter/autumn, inside our flat.

     Water fights + Inside = TROUBLE   ---> This is simple Maths.

     Water fights + Inside + Carpets + Wet floors = DANGER   ---> This too, is simple Maths.

      You know what's coming now; a crazy story that involves a water fight inside, where something stupid/dangerous/humiliating/funny for other people/ crazy happened. And it did, and you'll probably never guess which sap got soaked/humiliated/laughed at/looked stupid. Okay, you will. You're probably ten steps ahead of me.

     First things first, we shall call this not a water fight, more of a water massacre, or a water attack. Because in all honesty, it wasn't that much of a water fight. Water fights are where two or more people get soaked, and throw water at each other, and in this fight, I didn't do all that much fighting. I kinda fought against Fate, but I didn't get to throw water, except when I dumped it on the floor in spite.

     We were sat in the kitchen, eating our lunches, a perfectly normal and bland day. One of my roommates had a bottle of water in her hands, which spelled trouble, but I continued eating and pretending like I couldn't see what she was doing, or what she was planning. 

     She tipped a little water into the bottle cap, and then casually flicked it. It didn't actually go on me - it ended up on the floor, bothering no one - but I still went to move the bottle away from her, so she wouldn't do it again. As I was holding it, I saw something flicker in her eyes, and I knew I was in trouble. She leant forward, and I could see what she was about it do. She was going to tip the bottle back over me.

  

     I reacted faster than she probably expected. I flicked my wrist, dousing the water all over her lap, before she could get me. It was defense by offense, the only thing I could think of, and the only time I hit her with water. 

     I could see she was shocked and went to escape,  but it seemed that I had used up my reaction time, because she moved quicker. Someone had left water in the sink, from when they had been washing up, and then it was all over. I found myself soaked from head to toe, a bowl having been emptied over me.

     I tried to fight back, really I did, but I had no chance. She had grabbed all the bottles, bowls, containers of water, and was continually throwing them at me. Our other roommate had escaped to her room, and I was trapped. And then that was when it happened. "It" being in italics because of how important and how embarrassing it was for me.

     I fell.

     I went to go into the kitchen and slipped on a pool of water. I don't know how it happened, all I know is that one foot landed on the floor in the kitchen, and then suddenly I was flying backwards, almost comically, before coming to a painful halt on my butt.

     At the time, I wasn't embarrassed, and if I'm honest, I'm not now, but the teasing and laughing at me was unbearable. I thought it was funny, and strange. Plus, the horror did not end there. Not only did I slip, fall back and land on my butt, but I laid back against the floor, trying to gather myself. My attacker took this moment to try and soak me more. What happened next couldn't have been better, even if we'd choreographed it ourselves.

     She loomed over me, a washing up bowl of water in her hands. I figured what she was about to do and panicked, a surge of adrenaline racing around my sore body. I rolled to the right, just as she tipped the water and managed to escape an absolute downpour of water. I then jumped to my feet, and finally made an escape.

     Of course, I didn't hear the end of the water fight/soaking/slipping incident for days to come. It was funny, I'll admit to that, and it must have been great to watch - from a distance -, so I'm not complaining. 

     If anything, I think it's one of my prouder moments, what with the amazing dodging skills and foresight I displayed.

     Modest, I know. I thank you!

Breaking News: I'm Neurotic

     It's official. Some poncy, expensive, "Child of our Time" experiment has told me what I have known all along; I am neurotic. I worry, I get worked up, I get stressed out, I go crazy. It feels good, to be right. Along with the neuroticism, this test has also told me I am high in "openness", which means I am creative and see the world in a different way from all you uncreative losers, nice people.

     Here is the official graph that I was presented with. Wow, I totally made that sound like I was presented an award. An award for being "anxious" as my Mum once called me. As you can see, my neuroticism, is off the scale. My conscientiousness, extroversion and agreeableness are all about the same, and my openness is my second highest trait.

Openness: Imaginative, creativity, seeing the world in a different way. People with high scores tend to find generating imaginative ideas easy and tend to daydream a lot throughout the day. Also, openness comes with a innate desire to travel and see other places.

Conscientiousness: Dependability, organisational skills, hard-working. People with middle scores, like mine, tend to not to be workaholics, but have the ability to strike a balance between working and socialising.

Extroversion: Positive emotions, desire to seek out risk taking and pleasurable experiences. People with scores like mine are comfortable meeting new people and enjoy social occasions. 

Agreeableness: Sympathy, empathy, kindness. People with scores like mine are likely to be aware of other people's feelings and needs, going out of their way to help them. Also known as people pleasing, agreeableness is how well you can get along with other people.

Neuroticism: This is a person's response to a stressful situation. People with high scores are often tense, anxious and stressed. They also tend to experience changeable moods, which swing around in extremes.

     Okay, that's the definitions and explanations. I'm not sure about the extroversion trait, especially looking back over my start at university. I do like meeting new people, but I still get nervous about it; it doesn't come as naturally as the extroversion explanation might say. Although, that could be my neuroticism coming into play.

     Looking further into the information I was given, it also seems like I'm heading into the wrong career. I've been told by the "Child of our Time" that I should be going into an economic career. Well, I'm a Psychology student, so you couldn't get further from "economic" if you tried.

     Also, when you look at my scores, I'm high in "openness" which is creativity, and I'm high in "neuroticism". So, why would a career in the economy be good. It's not creative or imaginative, so I'd be bored out of my brain, and I get stressed easily, so I'd probably be stressed all of the time, especially when you look at today's economy.

     So, as a Psychology student, I will bow out with the criticism that sure, this study takes in personality and its effects on our lives, but no, it does not take into account other influences, such as interests, or the fact that some people can't make up their minds and randomly select where they are going in life.

     More on that nugget another time!